Taken from Redman's Diary:

She's single...

She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door...

I rushed to open it.

She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?"

I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!"

Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?"

I hate being old!