In honor of St. Patricks Day

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been one month since my last confession and I’ve been with a loose woman by the name of Nookie Green”.

The priest sighs, “Is that you Connor O’Shea?”

“Yes, Father, ‘tis I”

"You are forgiven. Go forth and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon after, another man enters the confessional. “It’s me, Father, Shawn Fitzgerald, and it’s been two months since my last confession. Begor, I’ve had sex with Nookie Green twice a week ever since."

This time the priest questions, “Now if you don’t mind me askin’, who is Nookie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighborhood," says Shawn.

"Very well Shawn me lad," sighs the priest, “but you’ll have to atone for your sins. Go and say ten Hail Mary's."

At Mass the next morning, the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, when suddenly a tall, drop dead gorgeous woman enters the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down… right in front of the Priest and his altar boy, Tommy O’Shanter.
Her dress is green and very short. She’s wearing shiny emerald green shoes.
They both gasp as this amazing woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart.
The priest slowly turns to Tommy O’Shanter and whispers in his ear, "Is that Nookie Green?
Tommy goes bug-eyed and can't believe what the priest just asked.
He stammers,"N-N-No, I d-d-don’t think so! It m-m-must be just the reflection off her shoes."